The worms have died. As has the kombucha.

Now, kombucha mothers are like zucchini — some people can’t give ’em away fast enough. So while I am deflated by this failure at yet another project dubbed “idiot-proof” (and don’t even talk to me about no-knead bread) I’m pretty sure I can start over and recoup my losses.

Red wigglers, on the other hand, are in short supply right now. The mission worm population is dangerously low and Sayre won’t mail order me some more until I figure out what went wrong. 

“We don’t want any more worms to die in vain,” he said.

But I am stumped.

It’s not too hot in the bin, nor too dry. I was perhaps feeding them a little haphazardly, but they certainly never lacked for food. I did not feed them acids (tomatoes, citrus) nor meat (which leads to maggots). I fed them a balanced diet of greens, banana peels, eggshells, and coffee grounds. In fact, that’s the only thing I can imagine went wrong. Too much coffee? Were my worms caffeinated to death?

Worm experts: call me.